I can't sleep

I don't think a lot people knows about this blog.  I hope so because I've kept quite a few heart to heart entries in here.  Kinda reflects my state of mind for the moment.  And it seems I am in a state of superficial confusion.  Sigh.  It's just that there are quite a number of things bothering me.  So sad I am not free to discuss them.  Well, no one's really keeping me to except myself.  I don't want to complicate things that I think, are complicated as they are.

I thought I was sleep-deprived the past three days - work, meeting people, had to stay late and wake up early as usual.  So I slept almost the whole day today.  Now, I've too little tiredness to lull me to sleep.  It's almost 4 in the morning now.  By tomorrow I guess I'd feel sleepless again and the feeling would just repeat - too little, too much, too difficult to balance.

I am running-out of hobbies to keep myself amused these days.  Can't paint, can't stroll by the beach, can't go to the mall, can't watch movie.  I just can't.  Seems so complicated, as always.  Kept thinking how to revive the old me.  Dunno what's really the difference but I feel different now.  There are things that I just can't do anymore and don't have the appetite to even try.  Have I given up trying, I don't want to admit.

I have to set goals again and dream some more.  Having him made me uhh I don't know what.  Don't have a name for it yet and don't want to conclude.  It's too early.  I must go back to bed now and try to find the perfect peace so I could get some sleep.  It's time.